How often do we tell others "it's ok?" Someone apologizes for being a few minutes late for a meeting. "It's ok." A teary-eyed child apologizes for breaking mom's flower vase. "It's ok." A wife asks for forgiveness for angy words. "It's ok."

Is it?

What do we mean by those words? I think a lot of times, what we mean is that we forgive that person for what they have done. We want to take away the sting of their conscience and thell them that it won't be held against them. "It's ok."

Or perhaps what we mean is that it really doesn't matter. Two minutes for a meeting isn't a big deal. Angry words were met with angry words, so let's just call things even. Saying "it's ok" like that tries to downplay the problem. It's like telling someone "it's not a big deal. Don't let it get to you."

How can you tell which one someone means? Often you can't tell the difference. And if those words are taken to mean, "it's no big deal," there's a problem. The person feels bad. Hearing that they shouldn't feel bad doesn't make those bad feelings go away. Saying it's ok just sounds like a lie in that person's ears. If it were ok, then they wouldn't be feeling that way.

Here's a challenge for you. If someone apologizes to you, don't just respond with an automatic "it's ok." Tell them what you really mean. Christ has entrusted us with the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Tell them, "I forgive you." Better yet, tell them "in Christ, God forgives you." That will speak to the bothered conscience. That will bring peace for the soul.

And then, and only then, can things truly be "ok."

Pastor Jansen